I am planning out my evening today at work.
Yes I should be working and I am. But I am one of those that think about everything at once while accomplishing only one thing in span of hours. Insane yes I realize, but this is my life. You can count on me to get it done just don’t look too deep at how I do it or you will get lost in my chaotic inner workings.
So I look around and think quietly to myself how others honestly live their lives in such a controlled manner. I am not condemning them but I honestly view them with child like wonder. I feel as if the controlled ones of the world are something akin to natural wonders. Like Santa Clause on Christmas fitting his big but down a chimney that can barely fit a substance called smoke up the chute without help.
In my mind I truly wonder how they do it. Life is so imbalanced and chaotic that I spend so much time trying to catch the imperfections/perfections and endless changes I have no time to control things that were done before I was even thought about. Nor can I control things that are greater than me. So I simply let go, think and let things roll.
I have tried the orderly and controlled way of things. It worked in the beginning. My linen closet was perfectly arranged. Then life kicked in and now I know where everything is: strewn around the shelves somewhere but it is in there I promise you. Just ask me before you go peeking around in there. I can save us both some frustration.
So in the span of an hour I have determined:
I am having greens, meatloaf and potatoes for dinner
Watching movies with a friend while the food cooks
Cleaning out my oven before I cook
Finding the lyrics to Peace Be Still
Trying to learn the song Peace Be Still
Placing orders for a couple of accounts for work
Finishing up projects before I quit my job
Writing this blog
Making music contacts
And the list goes on….
I have managed only to complete one task: writing this entry.
To this day I still wonder how the controlled ones filter through all the mental garbage to get one thing at a time complete.
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2 comments:
Sounds a lot like MY life, chaotic yet under control....Do you ever wonder how your life would be different if you were very rigid and strict about everything? Do you think people like that are less happy because they make sure that EVERY aspect of their lives are in line and have less time to do what makes their heart sing?
Reading your introductory entries has gotten me excited already about being a loyal reader. Keep it comin'. And I know you plan on sharing that deep, introspective, insightful, lyrically soothing, rock me to sleep OR rock my world poetry of yours, right?
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